no news

I have just been asked if I have any new news?

Do you mean sexual news? I respond

Yes

not really there was this on sunday

then today I was asked if I fancy a 3some in about 2 weeks.

I would have considered it except that the person asking was this man and I won't be going back there again.

I have had a few nice suprises on msn today. Early this morning I had a nice chat with Thomas before work. then this evening apart from chatting with both Rusty and JJ I was amazed to see another name pop up on my screen. A man I met last december. We had a drink together one night then we went for a drive and snog one lunch time. Since then we have chatted briefly once back in about feb/march time then nothing until tonight when he said he wanted to check I am ok and to keep in touch.

oh and last night I missed forest he signed online just as I was going out to rescue #1 son and had gone when I got back.
I have also been exchanging messages on a dating site with a very interesting man (Mars)who lives a little further away than I would prefer but you never know. we have been discusing Mr Rochester and other such types.

update

finally got back online in time to catch forest just as he was going offline tonight we managed to chat for awhile. I shall sleep well tonight :-D

muddle

I’m waiting to get into the bathroom for my shower. It’s the school holidays so my routine is going to be in a muddle for the next 2 weeks. It’s a lovely sunny day just as it was yesterday although I missed out on the sun yesterday, not getting up until lunchtime, then wasting my time alone while the boys went off to the beach I spent an hour on pc then put myself back to bed for a few hours nursing my headache.

Today I have woken headache free, such a relief! It is always a wonder to me when I wake up feeling good after so many days waking with a headache. If only they were all caused by too much to drink at least then I would know how to get rid of them….stop drinking. But it’s very rare for me to have a hangover. I have been feeling a bit down lately. A combination of things really. I am still a bit down over the GB thing (from now on I shall refer to him as Jasper). I have felt much stronger since I made the decision to finish with him, I don’t feel that empty longing that I felt before, just an emptiness in general. There are still times when I want to text him and say ………

Jasper I still want you, I didn’t mean it that I wouldn’t see you anymore.

But I have resisted the temptation. N who will now be known as Billy still won’t leave me alone although the contact from him is getting less. He has this thing about me returning his ice bucket. As it was a gift it is technically mine. But I can’t be bothered to argue and it is taking up room. Part of me wants to take it there asap to bring an end to the demands. But then I refuse to jump just because he says so. I did enough of that last year. He knew (because I told him) that he was my puppet master and I was his puppet on a string dancing to his tune. I don’t want to see him anymore but I still find it hard to break that tie. I don’t do cord cutting very well. He has been a big part of my life for 15 months even during the weeks/months when he was with The Bitch or later with the Other One. I always knew he would come back to me and he always did. But now I wish he hadn’t. They say that you should be careful what you wish for….you might get it. I wished for him and now can’t get rid of him. He keeps saying he is ready to settle down and he wants me to be with him. I tell him that I am not ready to settle down yet.

But is that true? I don’t think it is. I am at a stage now where I don’t want to keep meeting new men, certainly no more married men. I want a man I can call mine. Someone, who will treat me with respect, who will accept and deserve, the love that I have inside me, ready to give to the right man.

I have not been feeling very sexy in recent weeks, maybe that has something to do with a lack of sex recently. In months the only decent sex I have had was with Jasper (once), GP now known as Gordon (no idea why I chose that name) and with PL 2x (still working on name for him) maybe I shall stick with passionate as that is what the P stands for. I am meeting Gordon again later today so that is something to look forward to. Last time was in his office, today is going to be alfresco, next time he’s going to book a hotel room. I was woken this morning by a text from Gordon making sure I’m still ok to see him today, we have also chatted on msn for a while as I was checking my messages. I must have put on weight in the last month too as when I went to put on the skirt I had decided on for Saturday evening I couldn’t do it up with just two hands so had to abandon that idea. I know I had been feeling fat all week but hadn’t anticipated putting on that much that quick especially as I have not been eating much. I’m not sure when I last had a proper meal other than the one on Thursday night at the presidents dinner. Maybe that is why the recent headaches. I really should start eating properly again instead of snacking. I tend to cook meals for the boys but they are always just enough for them and I make do with a snack…..I know it’s not good for me but it’s cheaper. Oh and those of you who bought me a drink on Saturday thanx I really didn’t expect you too. I had enough for my own drinks but wouldn’t have been able to run to a round.

I am rambling now and have not even touched on my purpose for this post. I wanted to try to figure out what I want and why I am feeling so empty at the moment. I don’t seem to be the same bubbly person I have been for the last 8 or 9 months. I feel deflated, lost.
Maybe it is because I have had my fill of seeing lots of different men in my search for a few regular fuck buddies. I ended up with 3 fuck buddies who started off well but now we don’t find the time to get together for a whole variety of reasons. The three of them all being married doesn’t help the situation. I have reached a stage now where I want more than just great sex. I don’t know if I am ready for a relationship yet or if I just want a fuck buddy who I can socialise with not just meet for sex. I want someone who is single so that we can sometimes spend the night together not just go our separate ways after a couple of hours. As I have already finished with Jasper he no longer figures in the problem. But I don’t know what to do about either Foxy(SL) or Mr Passionate. Foxy is my partner in fun so unless I give that up I shall still see him then but we have not managed to get time alone together at all this year. I really miss that. Mr Passionate I have seen twice this year and it is always but always great. A few weeks ago he said he had given up meeting women, but he said he would still see me. But as he comes here it isn’t easy while the kids are off school and he is now looking for another job so that could be another problem. I really don’t want to say goodbye to either of them but as I have not seen them much recently maybe I should.
I know I have several single admirers out there. Some I have met and others I have not yet. I know that I have made some really great friends amongst you. I just don’t know where to go from here. I’m rambling again so I am going to stop now especially as I have to get ready for my drive to meet Gordon in 2 hours time. Make the most of this sunshine

Bloggers night out

As I was catching my train to London to meet other bloggers I was being bombarded with text messages from N. The reason being that we have not spoken for a few days. A few times when I have been online he has said Hi how u doin and I have just replied Hiya. That has been the full extent of our conversations since the one I blogged earlier in the week. I have neither avoided him or encouraged him. However he has taken umbridge saying that I am ignoring him. I don’t particularly care anymore. While we were still together at Valentines he gave me an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. We didn’t get around to opening it. So it is still intact on my kitchen shelf. He has asked for it back if I haven’t used it. Which I haven’t as I have had no reason to celebrate. In the past when I was returning things to him while he was with the bitch I would sometimes leave them on his doorstep. Quite safe due to his flat being the only one on his floor. He is however insisting that I deliver this while he is there. I know that this is so that he can see me. Anyway while I was on the train he was insisting that I should deliver his ice bucket there and then. I told him I was on my way to London. He wanted me to deliver it on my way. My train doesn’t go near his city. He text me that if I didn’t tell him where I was going I must be going to shag someone. Eventually his text stopped and I text Innocent that as I hadn’t heard from him I guessed he had decided not to join us. But on the contrary he said he was already there. I text HMU that I was on the train but there was no eye candy. He replied have a good time.

Eventually my train arrived at Waterloo and I strolled across the bridge and along the road to the chosen venue. As I looked around the room to see Vi, Goro and Fussy Bitch I was greeted by Innocent standing up to catch my attention. He was sat with Vi, Goro and Homme who all greeted me warmly. We sat chatting amiably for a while as we waited for Fussy Bitch and middy to arrive. We were also hoping that Fwengebola would overcome his shyness and join us but that wasn’t to be. I spent a while chatting to Innocent about his home town. Although it is some distance from where I live I used to go clubbing there in my younger days when I lived in Kent. We discussed various places I used to visit and whether they were still there. When FB and Middy had arrived and everyone had drinks we got down to the business of playing the drinking game Kings. This was very slow to start with but picked up as we got used to the rules. (very complicated). If anyone doesn’t know different cards signify different actions. Each time a King was turned up that person had to pour some of their drink into the glass in the middle filling it by one quarter. Who ever turned over the fourth king had to drink the entire contents. Bearing in mind that drinks at the table were wine, larger, brandy & coke and I was on Smirnoff ice. On the second game FB and I both opted to change our drinks to larger.
We must have been a right sight to the other customers when we were putting little green men on our glass stirring the drink with a finger, calling yeeha, blowing a kiss and waving before we could drink then remembering to take the little green man off the glass. I think Innocent had already left to catch his last train home by the time photos were taken before we got into our third game of kings. During which we had to stand up turn around jiggle your ass and do a dance before taking a drink. From memory the cards were as follows.
Ace = topic (word association)
2 = nominate one person to take 2 drinks or two people to take one
3= all the men take a drink
4= all the women take a drink
5= make a rule
6= toilet card holder can either declare a toilet break or barter with some who is desperate
7= Bottles go round the table saying numbers 1,2,3,4 etc but all multiples of 7 or numbers with a seven you must say bottles.
8= make or break a rule
9= thumb anyone with 9 can at any time they choose place thumb on table last person to copy takes a drink
10= continuous drinking Mexican wave style. If you stop before the person before you you take a drink.
Jack = hand on head , same principal as thumb card
Queen= question you ask the next persona question they answer by asking the next person a question
King.= quarter fill the centre glass.

I am sure Vi will tell me if I got any of that wrong. All too soon it was time for me to leave and get my train/coach home.
I felt fine while I was at the table but not being a big drinker (being the family taxi service for years) the drink had gone to my head. I was feeling a little light headed by the time I had walked across the bridge so grabbed a baguette and bottle of coke from the station. By the time I reached home (3 ½ hrs later) I was fully sober.

I can honestly say that all those there were lovely. Everyone of them was exactly as I had anticipated from what I have gleaned about them from their own bloggs.

strange events part two

after a hectic couple of hours I was soon ready to drive to my rendevous with SL. I text him as I was leaving my house so that he would know when to expect my arrival in the appointed meeting spot. I had been deliberating about what to wear for our outing. My decision being my red fishnet stockings and black mini skirt with my red jacket covering my black lacy bra. however I couldnt find the red fishnets so decided on sheer black stockings instead. I had been worried about my head cold but it seemed to be holding off for the moment. I arrived at our meeting place. As we travelled along the motorway we chatted on and off as we listened to the music. SL had arranged to meet FM and BW at a service station near to our destination. We arrived a few minutes late but there was no sign of them. I text BW to say we had arrived we soon got the reply that they were on their way and wouldn’t be long. Whilst we waited SL went and bought us a drink each and we played with our phones sending videos and pictures to each other by Bluetooth. We didn’t have to wait very long before we were joined by FM & BW. As we followed them along country roads we were a little concerned at FM’s driving. A few minutes later they pulled up at the side of the road and we parked a little further ahead. We thought they would be waiting by their car for us but they weren’t. We soon discovered though that they were already knocking at our host’s door. Can you imagine our surprise when we reached the house to find both FM & BW stood on the doorstep completely naked. I know we had discussed the possibility of BW arriving naked but we didn’t expect it of both of them. The door opened and we were greeted by CY also naked. I can’t think of another occasion in my life where I have been greeted by two men completely naked with very erect cocks. To my relief Mrs CY was fully clothed.

We were ushered into the living room lit only by candles and the strong scent of a joss stick burning in the adjoining conservatory. SL & I sat on the two seater brown leather sofa Mrs CY sat on a stool near us whilst the others all sat together on the three seater sofa. I joked about the room splitting into the three of us who were clothed at one side and the three nude ones at the otherside of the room. CY and BW busied them selves in the kitchen getting glasses of wine for everyone while FM went outside for a cigarette. I chatted to Mrs CY and SL. The others returned and Mrs CY joined BW & FM on the other sofa with CY perched on the arm. It didn’t take long before the women were wanking their men. The room was very warm with heat from the gas fire. I stroked SL’s thigh then sank onto my knees in front of him to remove his trousers and boxers which he very carefully folded and placed upon the dinning table beside him. By the time we were all on our second glass of wine everyone was relaxing. I was on my knees between SL’s naked legs stroking his thighs and giving his cock the treatment he has missed out on in recent months. He moaned with pleasure as I began licking and sucking this familiar penis. As I glanced across the room there was a tangle of bodies almost all naked apart from Mrs CY who was not feeling very well. She was sprawled on the sofa legs apart with CY’s hand buried inside her skirt as he was sprawled next to her BW between his legs sucking him off as her husband took her from behind. It was not much longer after this that someone I forget who but I think it was one of the women decided that we were over dressed and needed help out of our clothes especially me.

BW helped SL out of his clothes while Mrs CY approached me. I thought she was going for my skirt ( I had already taken my top off as it was so hot) but as her hand went up my leg with lightening speed it wasn’t my skirt but my lacy panties that she got a hold of and removed. BW was wanking SL but she also leaned across and both women were stroking and playing with my pussy. CY came into the room from making coffee he was now wearing a condom and it was decided by someone that I should be the first to receive his attentions. I lay on the floor wearing nothing now except my black stockings. I always feel sexier with them on. CY lowered himself on top of me and slowly entered my now wet pussy. Out of the three men he had the largest cock. It felt good to be filled again after the lack of sex in my life recently. I’m not sure what else was happening while I was being fucked by CY. I do believe that BW was playing with SL. After we had fucked and I was still on the floor CY sat back on his sofa allowing me full access to his cock so I could suck him off. It was most gratifying to hear him murmur that I have such a lovely soft touch. Especially as earlier I had heard one of the guys complaining about sharp nails with one of the others. During the evening I thought one of the funniest things was when both women were sucking cock…..their heads bobbing up and down fast as though it was a race. How could they have either given or received much pleasure like that. I love to take my time slowly running my tongue along and around the hard cock I have in my possession. Licking flicking swirling my tongue sometimes nibbling along the length more with my lips than my teeth. Yes I take the cock into my mouth I love to take this nice and slow too changing the angle of my mouth, sometimes taking it as far as I can then just a little way or maybe just the tip while my tongue plays. I love to tease the cock that I am playing with. Keeping my man guessing what I will do next, keeping the experience alive for both of us. Those who have experienced me giving head will know what I mean. I have never had any complaints yet although there may well come a day when I don’t satisfy my man.

During our discussions prior to the evening I had learnt that there may be some massages with baby oil on offer. CY spread a protective sheet upon his carpet and handed the baby oil to BW. SL knelt on the sheet and BW began to massage his shoulder, arm and back as he had mentioned a frozen shoulder. This massage seemed to ease his shoulder. Next BW lay on her front and FM massaged her back until someone suggested that she turn over and he massaged her front. I was told to help him. Kneeling on the floor I massaged BW’s stomach and legs gradually getting more adventurous and rubbing her boobs as well occasionally allowing my hand to wonder as far as her pubic hair. I am not brave enough to touch her pussy probably because I have never done this before and I am aware that there are four sets of eyes on the scene watching my hands moving constantly over and around her boobs, stomach and legs. Maybe if it had been just the two of us or if everyone else was busy playing not taking any notice I may have been braver. When I eventually sat back BW said I had wonderfully gentle hands. My second compliment…..I mustn’t start to get big headed. As I continued to sit on the floor FM lay face down while BW sat on his legs massaging his back and slapping his ass. This was a very short massage then he got up and sat next to SL, who gave me his cock to suck again. BW was next to me sucking off her husband while SL put his hand across to wank FM. I soon found that my mouth was joined by FM’s hand on SL’s cock. Both men were wanking the other while we sucked them off. Then BW was joining in licking SL who pulled my shoulders up so I was now kneeling up he turned me towards FM who was now standing so that I could suck him off alternating with BW. I remember a strong smell of cigarette smoke (they both smoke almost constantly). Just for fun FM began to fuck my mouth getting faster and faster until I couldn’t keep him in my mouth any longer as his movements became more and more frantic. I was laughing too by then which didn’t help. FM moved around behind his wife SL turned me so that the two of us women were now kneeling up facing each other. FM reached around BW to hold me against her. SL lifted up my right boob for BW. She fondled it at first then as SL lifted it higher she lowered her head to lick then suck my nipple. At first I felt nothing but gradually I could feel her sucking harder and harder. I began to feel the familiar thread that goes from my nipples directly to my damp sex. The tugging that begins slowly at first then spreads down through me to my thighs which tingle and drip as I become wetter and wetter. So there I was on my knees, BW sucking my right nipple while her husband has my left boob in his hand and SL has his hand rubbing my swollen clit. I have my hands on BW’s shoulders gently caressing her shoulders and back all the time concentrating on what is happening to my boobs. I let my hands slide downwards and play with BW’s boobs again. As FM is fucking his wife from behind and holding me to her. CY and Mrs CY re enter the room with more coffee. I collapse onto the sofa feeling a little overwhelmed. SL fingers my swollen clit and I have to put my cup down as the spasms of pleasure course through my body involuntarily. He lowers his head letting his tongue enter me tasting me, reminding me of what he does best. It has been a very long time since I felt his tongue between my lips making me cum in great gushes. He loves to make me squirt. He knows he can make me extremely wet and does so easily. I want him to pull me onto the floor and fuck me as we have not done for months. He obliges and he is quickly inside me with my stocking clad legs wrapped around his back pulling him deeper inside me. I am lost in the moment I have longed for his cock inside me for the last few months. We have both been too busy for one of our Monday morning sessions on my bed. I am moaning now telling him to fuck me baby yes this is so good. I feel him shoot his load inside me, I squeeze him a few more times with my hungry muscles as I feel myself cum once more. We collapse together in a heap as he kisses my nose and there is a round of applause. I had momentarily forgotten we were not alone. We finish our coffee and dress as SL has to get home. Everyone dresses and we say our goodbyes. FM is driving ahead of us along the road at a snai’ls pace. At least this time he is not undressing as he drives. Once we reach the motorway SL passes FM and we speed off on our way home. We are both quiet not saying much. I joke about how far we will have got by the time FM gets home. SL thinks we will be home first even though we have double the distance to drive. When we arrive at my car we kiss goodnight. Not the passionate kisses of the past but gentle kisses. He waits while I get into my car and pull away before he goes home. When I get home the kids are all asleep so I can go online. SL is there I tell him I got home in just 17 minutes which is good even for me. He has seen the football highlights and is going to bed now he knows I am home.

I catch up with blogging and other activities on the pc…..in no time at all its 3am so I take myself off to bed remembering to change the clocks first which makes it 4am L
In the morning I awaken to a silent house with just the sound of the shower running I know my son has an early start today, his band are planning to do some recording. I go back to sleep for a while knowing I don’t have to get up yet. When I do eventually get up everyone is out. I take the opportunity to go online. Within seconds I have 4 conversations on the go. One of these is a fellow blogger. He tells me that he has had an adventure. He has met a very nice handsome fit wealthy man who takes him back to his home and they play around by the pool. My friend tells me that while they were playing he sucked cock for the first time. He enjoyed it but wasn’t sure if he did it right. We spend the next few minutes with me giving him instructions on how to give a good blowjob. I hope I have helped him. I never imagined I would spend my Sunday online giving hints on cock sucking to man. This was the first strange event of Sunday. Not long after this I was checking my emails and found one from another blogger giving a phone number with instructions to text. I don’t do so for some time. But email back saying what kind of text do you want?
1) hiya
2) fancy a cuppa
3) come get me I need a shag
a while later I text the number I have been given…….what kind of text do you want?
Immediate reply………. whats on the menu ? so I reply with the choices I had set out in my email.
My phone rings, it is that number…..a very nice voice says …cuppa sounds good to me. I am in ****** Tesco carpark I have a spare half an hour. I say it will take me 15/20 minutes to get there. I have no idea who I am meeting…well that’s not quite true because I do now know the name of this person from the address on the email. All I know otherwise is that this person lives in the same part of the country and works in a town not far from mine, and we read each other’s bloggs very regularly. I arrive in said town and pull into the tesco car park which is almost deserted as the shop closed several hours ago. There is one car parked on its own with the lights on not far from the entrance. I pull up a couple of spaces from this car to see a face smiling and a hand waving at me. I get out of my car and walk over, he says are you getting in I only have a few minutes. So we spend the next 5 minutes or so sat in his car chatting. We mention one or two other bloggers and discuss my family situation and why I don’t work at present. Then he has to go to work. So we part company and I go home. I have things to do anyway.


Monday

I spent the day working as receptionist at a company that ask for me everytime they need cover for their receptionist. They are aware that I can only work less than 16 hrs per week otherwise it affects my benefits and my claim is cancelled meaning that I have to claim again. This time I am working Monday and Tuesday. The staff have got used to me now and I am learning who is who. The day goes without many problems and I set off home at the end of the day. Suprisingly only #3 son is home he has been on the pc for several hours and goes upstairs. While dinner is cooking I catch up with my blogs and email. Whilst I was checking my mail I see GB sign in. A few minutes later he is still there so I send him a funny face. We have a very short conversation and then he is gone. I just sit there tears streaming down my face, not that he said anything bad but I was reading between the lines. Not sure if I was being over sensitive. I decide that I cannot keep this situation as it is. I am feeling very upset and take myself upstairs. The boys come in from playing cricket. While I am serving up their dinner #2 gets a call from his dad who asks to speak to me. I do not want to speak to SF, I have no reason to. He insists tells #2 that he ahs to speak to me about money. It seems hes thinking of getting a job and wants to do a deal with me instead of CSA taking money from him. I tell him that I can’t do that or I will lose some of the paltry amount I get in benefits. We argue over how much I get from the state. He mistakenly thinks I get more than enough to cover everything. He then goes on to say that I have probably heard who he is seeing. I have not and what is more I do not care!! He tells me that he misses me he still loves me so I tell him that he has a new girlfriend now. he keeps saying he still loves me. I dont want to hear it. I can hear he is drunk. I ring off. but later when I am being miserable in my room he has rung again!!!! Again he keeps saying that he still loves me.....he admits that he is drunk....I can tell without being told!!
Later I go online I chat to HMU then N comes online ...he too is saying he loves and misses me. I really dont want to hear this not from N and not from SF either.
I am sure something else strange happened on monday but now its wednesday night and I cant remember.

Oh yes just remembered. I was having a text conversation with FF he asked if I wanted some fun on tuesday....he and Pp were due to have some fun with another couple but the wife had to go to scotland and they wondered if I would like to join them instead. I asked who and where. when he told me who it was i was amused this guy had been trying to get me to see them on my own without SL. his wife was always asleep whenever we spoke to them. I just said that I haven't been feeling well. then I went online via my mobile and the guy we had been talking about started chatting (first time in ages). He asked if I fancied a 4/5some..he had a couple coming round but his wife was away. He said he would try to find another lady and they said they would ask someone they knew. He didnt realise they had asked me lol.
yesterday which was when they were meant o be meeting I got a text from FF saying that he was being stood up it wasnt happening. I didnt ask why.

turning point

I know I have reached a point where I need to reassess where I am going and what I want.
have been chatting to N on and off tonight on msn. he thinks that maybe I need a woman or a 3some to sort me out!!!

this is the man who told me he thinks people who do that are weird. Not realising I had been in a 3some a few days earlier.

he has explained that going with a woman wont make me a lesbian.

a woman and a man, would sort u out for good, a good time, b, enjoy urself, c, the time of ur life

ask ur friends on line , u dont have to believe what i say, an old man like me (hes just turned 45)

I really dont know where he got these ideas from

I have decided that I am going to tell GB that its over. He has made me realise that I want more than any married man can give me. Mooning over someone who doesnt have the time for me is hurting me too much......its becoming more pain than pleasure so Im getting out now.

I cant keep track

OMG!!!
now I have no idea what is happening I am completely lost I cant keep track even though I write most of it down.

OK so I know I am meeting HMU tonight!! he has text me about finding out if we can get bar snacks. Hes going to let me know that and keep me upto date where he is. Right thats today tuesday. Before that I have to fetch #4 son from school. collect mother from WI meeting and take her home at 4pm. Then at 6.30pm take #2 son and friend to county cricket ground for their first training session with the adults. Its right opposite HMU's hotel. So they will get a lift home with his friend's mum. I dont need to keep going up and down the motorway to the same place all evening!!

Tomorrow wednesday Im sure I have agreed to do something but cant think what or who with. I am sure someone will tell me!

Thursday I was going to see GP but that got changed to thursday 15th. he now wants to be my regular lover too. But he isnt local and it means driving for an hour to see him. any way had several text from SL can we meet FF and PP on thursday eve. I have just confirmed this with FF. so it looks like we have a date for thurs which is most unexpected as SL is never available on thursdays!! and I had got the impression from FF that PP had decided against having any more group encounters. But he has just said she has had a rethink.

Friday what the hell am I doing on friday I am sure something was happening on friday but maybe that was one of the kids not me.

saturday and sunday I know Im free cos I dont get dates at weekends as my lovers are all at home with their wives :-(

Why am I feeling so disorganised???

N has been talking to me on MSN on and off this morning. not sure how I feel about that. I dont want to have to block him but might have to in the end. I dont want to hurt him more than I have already. But I dont want to go back to what we had either.

I was greeted by a text from GB this morning which made me feel good. it was only 3 kisses but that was nice anyway. yesterday morning he text me .......hello sexbomb. so now I feel that even if we are not communicating fully at the moment he still thinking about me.

Oh yeah I just remembered Friday yay Im seeing PL on friday morning :-)

N has been telling me this morning that I must have loads of blokes falling over themselves to see me. some chance!! I dont even get to chat online to many these days as by the time I get online most nights everyone else is in bed asleep. good thing Im not working at the moment.

At last

Sometimes you just know it has to be. thats what it has been like with GB. It was never going to be easy. Right from the beginning when he first contacted me in early december. GB tried to impress me by finding out what he could about me from the internet. I had to put him straight on a few things which he took with great humour and humility. After a number of conversations we agreed to meet for coffee. We had our second misunderstanding when he said he would confirm in the morning if he could still make it, I thought he was going to let me know if he couldnt make it. he couldnt and I arrived at the agreed venue only to discover that GB wouldnt be able to get there. we re-arranged it for the next day. GB did make it but was half an hour late then had to dash off for a meeting after an hour. We still managed a snog in his car before he went though.

Since that day we both knew we wanted to see each other again, we both wanted to see much more of each other. Over the next few weeks we stayed in contact but it became imposssible to find time to meet. Before xmas GB text me that he really wanted to touch me and kiss me again soon but he didnt want it to become a new year resolution. Guess he was busy over xmas with his family and friends, new year was fast approaching when he text that if he didnt get to kiss me all over soon he was going to burst. He kept setting targets for meeting me again and we kept misssing them, he was very busy with work. We even managed to arranged a lunch date agreed time and place. I got a lift there, on his way he got called back to work. I had to walk home :-(
A couple more missed opportunities and I felt this was never going to happen. Then this week we arranged that we could get together on thursday evening. N would be here on valentines evening but he would have gone home on thursday. Thursday arrived and I had to cancel as N had decided to stay longer. This had the effect of him sending me the following message

best we leave this whole thing eh it has NOT WORKING writen all over it

this was followed by a text its just never going to happen - you/me/ any reason seems to prevent the ultimate get-together of electricity.

Yesterday he was online chatting to me after I took N back to his flat. we chatted and he told me he could see me last night, but I was due to have a meal with family friends. We agreed to meet up after I had been to the meal.

GB had booked a double room at a hotel in his city (same as where n lives). By the time I text to say I was on my way he had already checked in but not been up to our room. when we got there it was a single room, we went down to reception but it seems it was the last room they had, GB had paid for a double. The receptionist waived the fee for the room. we went back upstairs where we began to dance while we kissed. It wasn't long before he had my bra undone and my shirt off. He sat me on the bed and we continued kissing whilst divesting each other of our upper clothes. We lay back on the bed and his hand found its way inside my trousers, pushing aside the flimsy fabric of my thong. As his fingures entered my already wet pussy I almost fainted with pleasure. We had waited for so long for this moment, it was hard to believe that we were finaly together in each others arms bare skin against bare skin. I am getting wet now just remembering how it felt to finally be there in that room with GB. earlier he had made me promise that I would not stop kissing him the whole time. He is certainly the best kisser this year much better than N. He loved my breasts, holding, kissing , sucking just burying his face in them. I loved his hands and lips on my neck, face and body. The heat was turning up when I decided it was time to change the pace. sitting up and sliding down the length of his body to take his cock in my hand and gently caress him before adding my tongue and lips to the base of his cock slowly twirling and licking from base to tip, fondling his balls , he closed his eyes and lay back enjoying what I was doing. eventually GB asked me to turnaround and he lifted my leg over him so that he could position me over his face. I continued to play with his cock teasing and pulling on it with my mouth while he inserted his tongue into my already soaked pussy. the feel of his tongue darting about inside me sent me into spasms of delight and I could feel myself gushing all over his face until I could take no more. At this point I swung myself around planting my mouth hungrily upon his lapping up my juice from his face. devouring his tongue as it plunged deep inside my mouth. I have no idea how many times we changed position without breaking our hold on eachother. We soon began to fuck first in the missionary then with him taking me from behind, it wasnt long before he shot his load. I didnt mind as it was his first time with a different woman, I assured him that next time will be better but it was good even if short and sweet. His phone beeped and he told me he had to go, but he didnt rush straight off. First he lay with me cuddling and kissing. After we had both dressed again we had another dance before leaving the room.
I text him when I got home to let him know I had arrived saftely. I text him again this morning saying that I had just had the best night's sleep I'd had for months.

tonight I text him GB GB GB cant get last night with you out of my mind. Been smiling loads.

Mmm me too, can't say that I'M NOT FEELING A TAD GUILTY THO

I dont know what will happen now. will we continue to meet or is it over already...........I hope not

update

its now early hours on tuesday and I didnt hear from GB, I did see him online but didnt say anything as he had said he wanted to call me rather than write. I had already emailed him that I really want to see him but if he needs space then hes got it. My gut feeling is that he will say he really likes me and wants to see me again but is consumed with guilt so wont see me again.
He is going to be away in France for the next few days so I have text him late this evening just wishing him a safe trip, nothing personal. It is going to be hard waiting to hear from him. If he decides to call it a day I shall accept it but be sad, as we could be good together. but most of all I feel that it will have been such a waste of energy taking so long getting to this stage .

Hot date

I have had N staying with me since Valentines day, we went to the movies last night which was lovely then when we got home he fell asleep for a few hours before I woke him to go to bed. I took him back to his place today so now I can start to play again!!

I am writing this while I am waiting for GB to arrange a hotel room for this evening. I need to get myself showered and dressed as I am having dinner with my mum and some of her friends that I know. Then I shall take my mum to her house before shooting off to meet GB. He has just sent me confirmation of the booking............I cant wait we have been planning this for 2 months and it looks like finally tonight is the night. I am getting damp and fidgety just thinking about it :-)

the warning

Yesterday I got an unexpected phone call. It was late lunch time when my mobile rang, I looked at the screen to see who it was but it said private call. Quickly my mind ran over the possibilities. One of the schools, the job centre, one of the companies I take calls from. I heard my name, it was a woman with a fairly deep voice she checked that it was me on the phone.

You don’t know me but I know you

(very curious is this someone trying to stir up problems between me and my boyfriend) Perhaps it was his most recent g/f before he came back to me. But the voice continued.

It is amazing what you can find on the internet….If you sleep with my husband again I shall find you.

All I could think to say was …..who is your husband?...... but the line had gone dead.

I am wracking my brain now …who could it be. My immediate thoughts went to my two lovers they are both married. SL I hadn’t slept with for about 3 months. It could be his wife but unlikely although I had left him a message on the net last night inviting him over to my place today if he wasn’t too busy. I hadn’t heard from him since last week apart from the heart text he had sent me which I then passed on.
PL I had seen last week for the first time since before xmas. We had been exchanging text and email messages for several days. Who else was there?
I have been chatting to lots of guys but I haven’t been sleeping with them. Or at least not for sometime, certainly not this year. My guess is that this woman who ever she is thinks her husband is sleeping away and she has found my number thinking its me. I wonder if she has made the same call to anyone else. I even asked N if he had gone and got himself married without telling me. After all his last girlfriend wanted to marry him so did the one he was seeing last year when he was alternating between the two of us. I seem to be the only one who hasn’t wanted to marry him within weeks. We chat about the call and discuss who it might be not that hes much help although he knows I was seeing others while we were apart. He says that if I get any more calls to let him know.
Later I text both SL and PL I got a phone call today warning me off. It may have been your mrs.
Within minutes they have both replied. Both convinced that it wasn’t their wife.

I really am baffled now.
Several times I go through the list of men that I sent the heart text to yesterday.

GB we have met once for coffee a few months ago……possible hes married I think
GM he is definitely single and we haven’t met up since September although we chat 3 or 4 times a week
ND He says hes separated his family in another part of the country …we met once but didn’t sleep together
DS hes been chatting to me recently …sure hes single but anyway hes in another part of the country and we have never met
IS is apparently still married although they have lived in different countries for several years. We have chatted on and off for months but never met
MM we have been platonic friends for about 9 months we help each other out, giving advice on each others relationships from the male/female point of view. Hes single and we are just friends he isn’t local either
KE we met once months ago he text me from time to time, has been single for years, rarely in the country
NW divorced met once back in early September, from another part of the country, also spends lot of time out of the country
PF, local tells me hes single have chatted a few times, text from time to time never met
RR met once before xmas, is now separated, not local
FF met once with his g/f has invited me out for lunch but not made any plans.
SJ never met tells me hes single wants to meet up soon.

I’m going to try to put it out of my mind. Whoever this woman was I am single and can see who I like, if her husband has been playing away from home either with me or someone else that is a problem between them not me. He wouldn’t be coming to me if everything was fine at home. Still I am curious to know who it is.

Update: This morning GB decided to chat online, this is very rare. I tell him about the call and it came about 10/15 minutes after I had sent him an email.
After a few minutes he tells me not to worry about it as he knows where it came from but not who it was. This confuses me. But he goes on to explain that when he text his colleagues at new year he had done so in groups. Apparently some of the people got the wrong text. One of his colleagues asked him if he had meant to send the text he did, then showed him what he had sent. He had managed to send them a text conversation we had had a few days earlier. I don’t know how many people had received that text, but he thinks it was one of them who called me pretending to be his wife.

unfulfilling

All week N had been asking when he would see me next. I had managed to persuade him that I would go to him at his place saturday evening and stay over night coming back here late sunday morning. We had had sex on monday night after I had taken him home after he had stayed here last weekend. But it had done nothing for me and instead of getting very wet I just got damp. This concerned me as that just isnt like me. Is it because I wasnt enjoying the sex as much as I had done in the past or is it something to do with me. I had had a bladder infection recently. I was feeling reluctant to get into a sexual situation with him again too soon.

I was not too keen when he announced on friday morning that he was coming to my town on the train to go shopping and wanted to meet for coffee or lunch. I couldnt very well say no. So I agreed to meet him for lunch then he could stay friday night. We decided to go clubbing which was good as then when we got to bed we both just went to sleep. In the morning I was on mother's taxi service duties so no lay in for me (no sex for him). On saturday we went back to his place but not until very late evening. On the journey I began to worry about my sexual future.

When I first met N the sex was incredible, maybe that was just because I had had very little sex of any enjoyable nature for years. I just couldnt get enough of sex with him and he christened me 'rivers of babylon' as I got so wet. Over the months that we were together on and off the sex was still good but I began to feel that he was boring as we didnt try any new positions etc. Having met other men I have widened my sexual experiences. Now I am worrying that I need to push my boudaries more and more to get sexual fulfillment. Am I going to find more and more that sex becomes more boring and unfullfilling if I am not pushing my personal boundaries. As much as I want to push myself to my limits I do want to find fulfilment without having to constantly push further.

I managed to keep things distant when we arrived at his flat until we went to bed again just falling asleep in each others arms. (this is why I am seeing him again). mid morning though he began to play with my nipples then finding my pussy which did become very aroused and wet fairly quickly, however he was quite quick to climb ontop of me thrusting himself inside but it wasnt long before I felt him lose his hardness and climb back off me. I didnt get anything much out of this.
I enjoy the cuddles and waking up with a warm body next to me in the bed, having a lie in and just chatting over a cuppa is great but our sexual appetites are different. but what is worse....I used to melt everytime he touched me and his kisses made me feel all wobbly and I just couldnt get enough of them, now I think he just slobbers over me and I dont enjoy his kisses at all. Last summer he accused me of changing the way I kiss but I think its him who has changed while he was with his other girlfriend he kept alternating me with.

Sooo not fair!!!

We have been exchanging emails and lots of text for days (well weeks really).
It has been far too long since we last saw each other. see mmmmm
On monday night while I was with N we were still exchanging copious text and pictures, we agreed that we both urgently need to fuck each other. The last time was before xmas. was it really only in november when I got withdrall because we had missed a whole week without fucking each other.
PL who works nights has to start work earlier this week and I am finding it harder to get time alone at home as #1 son is only working 12 hrs a week currently 7am to 11am 3x a week.
last night . he said he would set his alarm to get up early so we could have a session while son at work.
7.30 this morning son still in bed.......hes rung in sick has a temperature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg thats my plans down the drain. :-( :-(

Keeping a straight face

On saturday evening N came over to stay at my place for the first time since last July. I wasn't feeling too great and warned him that I might not be good company. But he didn't care just wanted to be here with me. We had been planning to go clubbing for the first time, we could never go to the local chicago Rock cafe before because SF was always there. Now, I don't care if he is. But we just pottered at home before deciding to go out for a late drink. It was already 11pm by the time we went out. We went to the new pub in town (converted church) this closed at 12 midnight but that was ok we had a bottle of Cava in the fridge and some cans of guiness. when we reached the car we sat chatting for a few minutes looking at the people still waiting to get inside chicago's. there were a few police talking to the clubbers.

N started a conversation that I hadn't expected. He was talking about how strange some people are and what they wear. He has a lot of porn sites on his pc including ones that show leather and pvc gear that you can buy. This always strikes me as odd that he looks at this but doesnt like the idea of it. Anyway he went on to say that some people are so strange that they even have group sex. 3 somes and some even have 4 or more. He would never ask me to do that as he knows it would not be something that I would like. Anyway not to worry because its not something he could do himself as he likes to give his attention to the woman he is with.

How I didn't laugh out loud I don't know. He would be mortified if he knew what I have been upto.

Now you probably think I am awful for going behind his back like this but I know that as much as I am enjoying his company for the moment our relationship will be short lived. Our track record as a couple has proved that. If I was in a long term serious relationship I would give up my other lovers.

The tinge of jealousy I felt when I saw SL with KP the other week told me that I couldn't do this with someone I love.