Sunday, June 29, 2008

Saucy Maggie

‘Maggie please come into the boardroom for a moment’
Maggie leaves her cubicle and makes her way to the boardroom wondering what they are going to say. Taking a seat opposite her boss and the manager of HR, Maggie is only slighty worried.
‘Maggie, as you know it has been a couple of months now since we began using the direct dial system for our customers to contact us to place orders. This was partly so that you could all build a better relationship with your regular customers instead of them getting whoever answers the phone.’
Nodding Maggie wonders where this is leading to, has someone made a complaint about her. But neither Pauline or Hazel are looking stern which allays any worries she might have had.
The two women facing her look at each other before Pauline continues
‘the new system has also made it easier for us to monitor the calls coming through each line, we have noticed that you seem to be on the phone 90% of the time. With a higher number of calls than any of your 5 colleagues but not only that each call is longer than those to your colleagues. Do you have any idea why this is?’
‘We have also noticed a high volume of outgoing emails from your computer’ adds Hazel with a definite glint in her eye.
Maggie can feel the heat in her face and knows beyond any doubt that her face is now crimson. Clearing her throat and looking at her foot. Her right leg being crossed over the left her foot is bouncing the way it does when she is nervous. After an age Pauline prompts her.
‘Is there any reason you think you are more popular than the others?’
‘umm maybe its because when they phone me it’s more of an experience than just plain giving an order’
Hazel has her pen poised over her note pad ready to start writing in short hand, while grinning Pauline simply says
‘go on’
‘Well I have just been utilising my talents. I know I am good at flirting on the phone and by doing so I can get the customers, well the male ones at least to want to talk to me every time.’
‘yes we know you are good at that but we think there is more to it than that.’
‘they know that by talking to me they will have a laugh, lots of innuendos and finish the call feeling glad they spoke to me.’
‘we don’t believe that’s all there is to it.’
Maggie feels her crimson face getting hotter
‘Ummm well someone said that talking to me was like phoning a sex line but better. So I just took that on board. If it encourages them to phone me with orders why not. Um is that ok?’
‘Does this explain the increase in sales you are getting but what about the increase in emails?’

‘Oh I have been using a spot of blackmail, if they place a bigger order they get a paragraph from one of my fantasies, for every £100 over carriage paid if they are one of the smaller accounts or every £200 if they are a bigger account they get a paragraph, the more they order the quicker they receive the completed story ’.

‘the increase in sales on offer products is because? What do they get for that?’
‘er um yes, for that I tell them what I am wearing.‘
Laughing Pauline claps her hands
‘I knew you were a cheeky one Maggie but thats a good one, do you tell them everything or just outer clothes, truth or made up?’
‘oh that depends on whether its just a small sample, the more offers they order the more they are told. Like if its 6 of one thing just to try them then I might tell them what top or skirt I am wearing, but if its over £100 worth then I will tell them if I am wearing stockings and or what lingerie I have on. Yes most of the time I am being truthful, that way I can put in more detail.’
‘So if you do all this for the men what do the women get when they ring you?’
Hazel wanted to know.
‘The women, they get a friend. Smeone who remembers who they are, someone to moan about families to, someone who understands the rising cost of the weekly shopping,’
‘but what about offer products?’
‘for a good sized order on special offer products I write a short poem on any subject they choose.’
‘Maggie go back out there now ad get selling, at this rate you will soon be the highest earner here. Now go.’
As she leaves the room Maggie hears Pauline say to Hazel,
‘perhaps we need to soundproof her cubicle’
Returning to her desk Maggie sees that there are 3 voicemail messages waiting for her but before she can check them her phone rings. Glancing at the number displayed on the small screen, she picks up the handset.
‘good morning gerald how are you today? Have you got a big one for me you know how i do like it when you give me a big one’
‘oh you know me, size doesn’t matter but I do like something to get my teeth into’
‘no I wouldn’t do that .....well not unless you like that.......oh you do do you.....hmmm I shall have to remember that. Of course its the highlight of my week when you call. Did you now? Well I think you have nearly got to the end of that one, which bit did you enjoy the most?
Picking up her pen and order pad, Maggie continues
‘so Gerald what do you want to do first today......yes of course, I don’t mind, do really you want some of those, if you buy 4 you get an extra 2 completely free. Yes its a black skirt with blue pin stripes, yes just above the knee but as I have my legs crossed......., yes you will like those they are similar to the ones you normally have but at cost price we can’t get them anymore, yes how many ok 300 of those and 200 of those yes I know as I am so hot a blue blouse, cap sleeves oh yes i never wear a blouse buttoned right the way up......wouldn’t you like to know....hmmm yes I thought you would.’

Monday, June 09, 2008

Meet me at the airport

'meet me at Chez Gerard's, Gatwick North Terminal at 8 am on saturday don't be late'

That was all the email said. She had read it dozens of times since it arrived yesterday. It was now friday evening and Helen wasn't sure how to feel. One minute she was full of butterflies, the next euphoric that she was going to meet him at last. All evening she has been trying on clothes trying to decide what to wear for her day (well she hoped it would be a whole day) with Marcus.

Helen pampered herself with a long soak in the bath with her favourite bath creme, buffing her nails, applying fresh varnish the colour of gleaming gold. setting out her soft brown skirt and cream blouse with golden threads that glisten in the light finishing her outfit with strappy gold sandals. Her plans for an early night so that she would awaken refreshed, a mockery as she lay there too excited to sleep. Her mind playing over the first words they would speak to each other. Would they both be very formal, with this being the first time they meet or would she follow her heart and throw herself at him. Would they even like each other after all his time. How awful would that be if they don't.

Finally at 2.30 she falls asleep to be woken a few hours later by her alarm. grabbing a mug of tea as the shower runs she gets ready for her day out, by 6.30 she is on the road heading to Gatwick. No time now for nerves there will be time for those later, once she has found her way to the North terminal and into Gerards. As the miles pass she finds jerself wondering which flight he will be on, is he coming in from Belgium or could it be Holland or will it be somewhere further afield?

It has been a good run up, she has made good time and is looking for a good parking spot by 7.15 giving herself plenty of time for a visit to the powder room to make sure her lips and eyes are made up just how she likes them in time for her 8am rendevouz.