Saturday, June 30, 2007

why do I do this to myself

I have got myself into a tiss over the situation between me and Forest
are we seeing each other or not?
am I just a sex toy to him
do I push him into action or just wait
or do I walk away

tonight I have sent him a variety of text from
a x
to a :-p
to telling him what I want and asking what he wants
no reply to any of them.

then I get online and see Jasper is on msn
thats unusual especially at this time of night
I resist saying hi
until I am very tired and about to go to bed
my resistance fails
I say hi to him
he calls me angel
he says he wants one of my snogs
and the time we had in the hotel
I chat on but he doesnt reply again
now I am hankering after two men
neither of them any good at communication
its no good
I must stop this.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


I am a butterfly, I flit from one place to another spreading my warmth and beauty for all to see and share.

Only now I cannot fly, I am trapped. trapped in a giant spider's web. The more I try to escape the more I get tangled up in these threads so fine they appear invisible. but they are there all the same.

I believed you were my friend, you listened to tales of my travels. You listened to tales of the magnificent butterflies I had met and also the drab moths I had encountered along the way. You soothed me with your words when I became excitable. You lured me to you with your warmth. I believed you to be a magnificent butterfly too but I was wrong. You are a spider and you have me caught in your web.

When I yearn for the comfort of .your words, to have you beside me, you hide in the very centre of your web in a place I cannot reach. But each time I try to escape you throw out more threads to keep me held fast. You send me words that lighten my heart but still you keep your distance.
Please I beg of you, either take me into the heart of your world. Keep me safe and happy, let us dance together. Or release me let me fly againon the breeze to land where ever I will.

Monday, June 25, 2007


I have not indulged in any swinging in the last few months. I have been a good girl saving myself for the one man I currently want to be with. However I am now feeling that I have not fully explored every aspect of my sexuality. I have therefore been in contact with a few of the people I have met in the swinging world, with a view to playing again when I am in better health. This may or may not be on my own. Forest has expressed a desire to be my new playmate.

Friday, June 22, 2007

I confess

Sir I must confess for I have done wrong here is my confession

We are meeting at a coffee shop in my town
He text to tell me he is stuck in traffic
I arrive at the coffee shop and decide to wait outside for him.
He arrives almost as soon as I do.
Mmm he is much taller than me
He looks good in his brown leather jacket and jeans

I find a table at the back of the shop where we can chat
I slip off my red jacket revealing my blue striped blouse
Today I am wearing jeans so my legs are not on display
I have a different tactic this time

He sits opposite me across the table chatting
We get on so well it’s like we have know each other for years.
As we chat I rest my elbows upon the table
I know this is exaggerating my cleavage
He goes to the gents, when he returns he sits beside me
After a few moments he tells me that one of my buttons had come undone
I thank him and do the button up (months later I tell him I had purposely undone the button he admits he knew that).

After our drink and chat he gives me a lift back to where I had left my car at my mother’s. He kisses me very nicely on the lips, nothing more.
About 20 minutes later I get his text
‘wow what a sexy lady, and such a lovely kisser, I was sorely tempted to ram my tongue down your throat.’ I tell him that he should have done and that it took him long enough to kiss me as it was.
Over the next few days our text messages get hotter until he announces that he must have me even if it means taking me to his home.
This I won’t do again so I insist he comes to my home, he can help me with some heavy lifting that I can’t do alone.
A few days later he is here and I seduce him first in the garage then in my kitchen but finally I take him in my living room. As he sits upon my sofa I sit on his lap straddling him. My kisses becoming more ardent, my wriggling in his lap becoming wilder until I am so wet that I have soaked my jeans and made his wet too. It is no good I have to strip off my jeans and release his manhood from his now damp jeans. What else is a girl to do when she is confronted by such a lovely specimen, he is here he is wanting me so he gets me impaled on his rock hard cock wriggling like there is no tomorrow. Once he has shot his load he slips to his knees so that he can taste me, still with his sperm dribbling from my lips.
A week later he is back for more only from this time on we use my bed and have very very passionate sex in every position I can imagine. He has decided that he has to be a good boy and not see anyone else, but he will always find time to see me again … could he resist?

Sir now I find I have two lovers who are both married. I know this is wrong but I cannot give them up. I would rather be punished than give up my lovers. Please I beg you Sir don’t make me give them up. I will do anything you ask so long as I can keep my lovers.

am I to be punished yet or must I confess more first?

Thursday, June 21, 2007


soon when my health is better

we will meet again

he will mete my punishment

we have discussed what my punishment should involve

all he tells me is that he will initiate me

I shall be spanked

he will bring implements this may or may not include a cane

I trust him

Sunday, June 17, 2007

have you?

have you been thinking about our plans?

not had a chance have you ?

A bit. I'm ok with it if you are.

of course

Friday, June 15, 2007


I have been talking to some men about spanking for some while now I have become interested in spanking and other punishment used in a Dom/sub environment.

I did dally with the idea of becoming a sub to one of the men I was in contact with (my Dark Master) he even sent me a picture of my own collar and lead which I was to wear each time we were alone together. He would give me instructions to follow. But I decided that the 24/7 life that he seemed to favour even though we had not yet met was a little more than I wanted. I'm not into the slave master lifestyle.

I want to experience being submissive and receiving punishment for my misdeeds more as a part of a sexual experience now and again not to be the whole. ie I want it to be one of the sweets in the bag not the bag containing the sweets.

I have also chatted on and off to JJ for months. He is a man who enjoys being submissive but equally happy to be either Dom or neither. He has stated many times that he would be happy to tie me up and spank my ass. But each time we get anywhere near doing anything about it he cancels. I have now told him that if he is sure that he wants to spank me. (he is emphatic that he does). Then he must decide on a place and a time, inform me then STICK TO IT!!

As the months went past I also had a joint fantasy about it with my Knight of Tarnished Armour. we did attempt to carry out a spanking but location for our chosen al fresco event was not found although we spent time driving through many narrow muddy lanes. (not for the last time either).

then there is another. we have discussed the subject on and off for months. He has done this before and has done research into the subject. He has books which he has offered to lend me during the time I was thinking of being my Dark Master's slave. He also has a store of implements which could be used. this other is not a lover of mine. We have discussed the possibilities of him being my initiator.

Friday, June 08, 2007


I worry so much. I can’t believe this is happening. Normally I meet a new man we have a drink a chat. If the chemistry is right we kiss, touch maybe more. We usually send a text after to say thank you to each other. If it’s right we will meet again. It may be days or even weeks before we speak again on msn or by text. That’s ok we both know that if we don’t see each other again it wont matter but if we do it will be great. We get in contact when we want to see each other.

But now it’s different, we met, we kissed, we met again, we kissed some more, we touched. We met again, we kissed a lot we touched a lot. We did everything but fucked. He went away, I missed him straight away. We have not talked much since. I panic if we have no contact. This is not like me.

I worry that I am pestering him, I worry that he won’t want me, I worry that I am scaring him away. I worry about being too forward. I worry I am putting pressure on him. I worry that if we don’t speak he will forget about me. I worry that he is waiting for me to make the first move. I worry that he wants to be the one that makes the first move. I worry that I am worrying so much.

I worry that he wants me for my sexuality alone, I worry that my sexuality wont be good enough when put to the test. I worry that I am not funny enough. I worry that I am too serious, I worry about not taking things serious enough. I worry that I am treading on some one else’s toes. I worry that he doesn’t mind me seeing anyone else. I worry that if I do he won’t like it anymore. I worry that I am turned on by the thought of mmf or mff with him. I worry that I would be too jealous.

I worry that I find him so sexy. I worry that after all this time I am not sexy enough for him. I worry that I am too sexy for him to enjoy the rest of me. I worry that we will lose the friendship we had. I just worry

Thursday, June 07, 2007


I like you very much
you are kind, funny, caring and very sexy
you make me feel good
I miss talking to you
I dont mean a text here and there
I mean really talking like we did before

You gave me pleasure
you made me feel better with your own brand of TLC
we are planning to be together in just a few hours
yet I am scared
scared that you wont be able to see me
scared that you will
scared something will go wrong

I have wanted this so much
I have longed to see you
I have yearned for you kisses
I need your touch
I need to taste you
I need your arms around me

do you still want me
will you still want me
will our time together be how we want
will we have enough time
suddenly I am scared
scared of wanting you

I'm still scared of seeing you though I want to so much, I wake up feeling unwell, nerves maybe.
my son is poorly, i'm in two minds. do I let him stay home and put you off or do I make him go to school so I can have you.
you take the decision out of my hands.

Hiya I am not going to make it as something new now cropped up x so sorry x

no worries, I was about to tell you that my youngest is home ill.

lol is that not typical for us both x was so looking forward to licking u out the feel of your mouth around my cock and finally entering you and having you come over me x

mmmmm now you got me going! I was looking forward to making a meal of you xxxx

Monday, June 04, 2007

desire in my belly

Dear sweet Lady Fiona
I also was filled with lust and desire in my belly as I went to sleep last night, thinking of all the most awful sexual things we could enjoy together and waiting your words. You have no need for apology for chastisement will come to you whether you have wronged me or not. That is the dastardly thing. You might never know if you please me or not and therefore be on the edge of expectant humiliation at a moments notice for being just you. You have indeed pleased me by regaling your misbehavior with another stranger lustful for your wanton charms. He shows good taste and I hope he was appreciative of your excellent sluttish skills. I should have liked, very much, to have spied upon you performing felatial acts upon his cock and have you know, but in his ignorance, that you new me to be watching you. It would have been a devine sight to witness you sit upon his cock and enjoy his penetration of your cunt by your very own doing. It would please me vastly to have you tie me down and make use of me for your own pleasure and to have you bring yourself to an ejaculatory conclusion gushing you cum all over me. Oh how my maiden arouses such gross delights within my minds eye. My Lady pleases me further with her vulgarity of words and would that I could have seen you lay upon your bed exposing your delightful cunt. When we meet again perhaps you could refer to your maidenhead with such base terminology, because to hear the word cunt come from your mouth would be vulgar and rude to the point of arousing me further than you already do. To have you recline so provocatively for me would be delicious joy as often it is not what is revealed as much as what is not and that that isn't hinted at or glimpsed in a teasing manner. I should like to see you provoke me thus one day so that you can witness my response by way of standing more and more erect for your imagination. I know that you are mine to do my bidding, but if it does not offend your sensibilities too much, I should one day, like my good sweet lady, to render me naked at your own hand so as to enable you to look upon my body and feast upon it as I so long to feast on yours. I should like to switch with you and become your very own slut and have you demand of me things you like to see or have done to you. If I were to give you such an opportunity what shape of opportunitywould you make it my Lady? Tell me all, my lovely or be honest if there is not a dominant cell in your body and that all you wish is to serve? I wish, my Lady, that I had the courage to allow you the joy of exhibiting your sexual appreciation in me for any who may wish to view as they pass by, for I should like to see the joy on your pretty face as you indulge in canal acts with me in public. Sadly, I am a wimp in this unless it were by arrangement with another couple, woman or man. Who knows we may meet friends with mutual vulgar taste some day. It thrills me to know your memories stay well entrenched of the our last meeting and I am pleased that you now know they are memories that will remain with me for a very long time. I so long to have you repeat your soft kiss with your lovely lips covered in my spent lust for you and your open mouth pressed to mine delivering my very own spunk to it. Such filth is devine Fiona, my love slut and there is more dexterity I wish to show you with my tongue on each of your other orifices especially upon your relaxed, welcoming and beautiful anus For now my sweet vulgar heart, I leave you with reluctance for things I must do in commerce.
Fair-the-well my beautiful damsel, my heavenly cunt, my perfect slut my sexual soul-mate
Sir Thomas :-x :-x :-x :-x :-x :-x

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Morning Glory

Something wakes me, I get up and go to the bathroom, when I come back my phone is beeping to alert me that I have a text waiting to be read. I check the time 5.45am I open my phone I am excited.

6.30am ok?

I will be there

Quickly back to the bathroom for a quick wash no time for shower yet. Put on the brown skirt and top I had laid out last night just in case. With cream lace bra and panties underneath. Creep out of the house trying not to awaken the kids. Lock the door behind me and run to my car as quietly as I can in my haste. I don’t want to waste a single moment. Soon I am on the motorway with the sun in my mirror as I speed along. I have checked my map over and over to make sure I know where I am going. I pull off the motorway onto the smaller road, I know these roads most of the way, soon I find the turning it isn’t long before I find the car park. There is a car already parked I pull up next to it, the driver grins and gets out he comes round to my door. Before I can get out of my seat he is crouching beside me, he pulls my face towards him and plants a gentle kiss upon my hungry lips. He smells of soap and toothpaste, mmmm I love these scents that smack of cleanliness. He helps me from my car, once I have locked the door he takes my hand leading me through the trees to a group of holly bushes about 60 or 70 meters from the path. We circle the bushes to where there is a gap wide enough for us to pass with out getting caught up on the prickles. To my astonishment there is a space about 10 foot across and laid upon the ground is a thick blanket and some cushions there is a bag next to the blanket.

I turn to my companion he has a great big grin on his face.

I thought you would be pleased

I reach up to put my arms around his neck drawing him to me for a big kiss. We sink to our knees still kissing, his hands are inside my top drawing it up over my head exposing my lightly tanned breasts as they spill out of my lace bra. Before I can think about it he has flicked the clasp releasing my breasts from their fragile cups. Stooping he takes both breasts in his hands bringing his lips to first one nipple then the other as I lean back giving him maximum access to his prize. I feel the dampness I had experienced during my drive of anticipation of this moment increasing. I know with certainty that when his fingers begin to explore my panties he will find them already wet. I don’t have long to wait, he starts to explore inside my skirt pulling my panties to one side dipping a finger into my wetness he withdraws offering his finger to my lips. As I lick his finger he kisses me with his wet finger between our lips as we share my juice. My hands are now exploring his body as I pull at his t-shirt then his belt. He shifts his position to allow me to undo his belt then his jeans. On this occasion he has dared to go commando. He draws me back onto my feet as he slips out of his jeans and helps me out of my skirt and panties. We are both naked with just the breeze and the sun upon our flesh. This feels incredible and my excitement mounts. He pushes me to the ground placing a cushion under my buttocks raising my hips towards his advancing face. He buries his face between my thighs, I feel a finger inside me as his tongue begins to work on my clit, first licking then sucking. I just love the way he does this. I get carried away on waves of pleasure as I grab hold of his free hand. My other hand holding onto the thick woollen blanket bunching the material in my fist. I can’t help myself I am moaning with pleasure. Somewhere at the edge of my mind I am aware of rustling in the bushes and birdsong in the trees. An eternity of pleasure and he emerges from my thighs, its his turn now I push him onto his back as I crawl between his legs taking hold of his hard cock, I begin to lick his balls then move up to his shaft licking the entire length several times, taking my time when I reach his swollen head lapping up every trace of precum.

When I am sure he has had as much teasing as he can take for the moment I take his head into my mouth, just a little way at first then deeper until I almost gag he is so deep inside my throat. I enjoy this so much I lose all track of time. I have no idea how long I devote my attention to this beautiful and tasty cock before he pulls me off him telling me this is so intense he needs me to stop. I crawl back up his body as he fumbles in his bag for a condom. Once this is in place I climb on top of him impaling my body on his shaft. Leaning back as far as I can I ride him as he inserts his thumb into my labia. He rubs my clit making me moan loudly as I cum washing his balls with copious amounts of my juice. Now we are both moaning as we lock eyes gazing at each other, watching our expressions change as we ride out our journey to heaven together. I cannot hold this position for too long my legs are not strong enough for me to keep going. I collapse on my lover as he rolls me over onto my back pulling my legs up into the air so that he has one foot on either side of his head. He pumps inside me I am lost in oblivion with just the sounds of his balls slapping against my buttocks, my moans and his panting. Oh god help me I want to burst, this is what it has all been about, this pleasure, this man who knows me so well. Please don’t stop let this be how it will be for us. I want these feelings to go on for ever yet I don’t think I can take much more. Do I want him to stop or keep going, my body doesn’t know, my mind doesn’t know. My body is screaming

’stop now, don’t stop, keep going, no I can’t take it, I don’t want this to end’

My mind is just so confused it goes blank letting the pleasure wash over me. Then he has stopped he is pulling away from me. I am alert now, why has he stopped I need him inside me again please!!! But he has other ideas. The condom is discarded as he climbs over me he places his cock over my face as he buries his face back between my thighs. Wow Its been ages since I did this, I pull his cock down into my throat as I feel him lapping up my juice I explore him with my tongue trying to swallow him as deep as I can I love the feel of his cock jerking in my mouth as I fondle his balls. Then he gives a couple of hard jerks and I feel the first spurt as he cums in my mouth. This is followed by several more spurts of hot liquid as he fills my mouth. Some I swallow the rest I savour waiting until he has climbed off me offering his lips for a kiss as I share the rest of his cum with him. This is the first time he has done this, I can see by his face that he loves it. We collapse into each other’s arms as we murmur how good this has been and we must do this again soon. After a short rest he reaches into his bag for some wipes so we can clean up then he pulls out his clean clothes. Silently we both dress, me in the brown skirt and top which I can see he admires. He in his black trousers, blue shirt and tie. I run my brush through my hair. We are both ready to start our day. He in his office me back in my place of domesticity. We kiss passionately before making our way back to our cars. There are other cars here now and there are dogs barking in the distance. A man passing us gives us a knowing wink. One final embrace as we reach the cars then off to our separate lives. Both with a secret smile on our lips and a twinkle in our eyes. We will talk later, but its good bye for now.

Friday, June 01, 2007


Originally I began this blog to tell of my adventures as part of a couple in our search for fun with others. Last week I spoke to my partner (we have not had much contact in the last few months as he has been very elusive). We both agreed that we were happy to have a break from it for a while. I am not sure whether or not I still want to continue these adventures. Not because I don't enjoy them but because I have decided to cut down on the number of lovers I see. I have decided that NSA is no longer what I want. SL told me that he was having a break as the whole thing was getting very samey. The only thing that was very samey was the difficulty in arranging a time and place when everyone could make it.

Today I learnt that he is still playing and has now teamed up with a younger woman, someone we had talked to about joining us in a 3some and perhaps in a 4some with another man. I feel hurt and betrayed, I don't mind that he has done this or that he has teamed up with her. What hurts is that he couldn't be honest with me and tell me himself. I had to hear it from someone else, someone he had approached to have a foursome with mentionng that he used to be my partner but is now with this other lady.

I have now met someone who I like very much and I hope that this will develope into something more. Our original contact many months ago was through my partnership with SL. This man was part of a couple but they had split up. I told him today what has happened with SL. we are now discussing the possibility of the two of swinging together. But first we have to see how well things work out for the two of us. This is something I will have to think long and hard about. whilst I feel I still have not fully explored that side of my sexuality and the idea still arouses me,
I am not sure if I would be able to play in a group situation with a partner who I care about. I am not sure how I would feel about this man who I like so much having sex with another woman in front of me, even with SL I felt a tinge of jealousy even though I was having sex with her husband.