On saturday evening N came over to stay at my place for the first time since last July. I wasn't feeling too great and warned him that I might not be good company. But he didn't care just wanted to be here with me. We had been planning to go clubbing for the first time, we could never go to the local chicago Rock cafe before because SF was always there. Now, I don't care if he is. But we just pottered at home before deciding to go out for a late drink. It was already 11pm by the time we went out. We went to the new pub in town (converted church) this closed at 12 midnight but that was ok we had a bottle of Cava in the fridge and some cans of guiness. when we reached the car we sat chatting for a few minutes looking at the people still waiting to get inside chicago's. there were a few police talking to the clubbers.
N started a conversation that I hadn't expected. He was talking about how strange some people are and what they wear. He has a lot of porn sites on his pc including ones that show leather and pvc gear that you can buy. This always strikes me as odd that he looks at this but doesnt like the idea of it. Anyway he went on to say that some people are so strange that they even have group sex. 3 somes and some even have 4 or more. He would never ask me to do that as he knows it would not be something that I would like. Anyway not to worry because its not something he could do himself as he likes to give his attention to the woman he is with.
How I didn't laugh out loud I don't know. He would be mortified if he knew what I have been upto.
Now you probably think I am awful for going behind his back like this but I know that as much as I am enjoying his company for the moment our relationship will be short lived. Our track record as a couple has proved that. If I was in a long term serious relationship I would give up my other lovers.
The tinge of jealousy I felt when I saw SL with KP the other week told me that I couldn't do this with someone I love.
N started a conversation that I hadn't expected. He was talking about how strange some people are and what they wear. He has a lot of porn sites on his pc including ones that show leather and pvc gear that you can buy. This always strikes me as odd that he looks at this but doesnt like the idea of it. Anyway he went on to say that some people are so strange that they even have group sex. 3 somes and some even have 4 or more. He would never ask me to do that as he knows it would not be something that I would like. Anyway not to worry because its not something he could do himself as he likes to give his attention to the woman he is with.
How I didn't laugh out loud I don't know. He would be mortified if he knew what I have been upto.
Now you probably think I am awful for going behind his back like this but I know that as much as I am enjoying his company for the moment our relationship will be short lived. Our track record as a couple has proved that. If I was in a long term serious relationship I would give up my other lovers.
The tinge of jealousy I felt when I saw SL with KP the other week told me that I couldn't do this with someone I love.
2 comments:
Yes, I have the same reaction when some clueless person pulls me aside at work or a social function to titter about the extramarital strayings of others. My value system is just different from theirs.
The jealousy twinge is natural, but if you are going to continue to indulge in polyamory it's something you will have to deal with. Does the pleasure you derive from making love freely to others outweigh any pain you feel when your primary mate does the same? Your answer may determine whether this lifestyle is right for you.
hahahahaha! Oh I'm amazed you kept a straight face.
I'm like N, I couldn't do it with someone i love, but it does still intrigue me. (and I do love reading about it)
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