spoilt

spoilt for choice

If you have been reading my blogs for a while you will be aware that I have a desire to be spanked. This is a desire that has crept up on me over a period of six months or so. When I first started reading accounts of women being spanked it held no interest to me. It was not something I had any wish to try.

But one morning whilst I was enjoying a sensuous session with SL he slapped my ass. I liked it and asked him to do it again which he did. I also dicovered that I liked it when he dug his fingers into my ass. Then I found that the more I read about fellow bloggers such as LFM being spanked the more I wanted to know about it. I started reading more and found I was getting aroused by the idea. During my email exchanges with my Knight we fantasised about him spanking me. As the months went by I began to discuss this with a few of the men I chat to. At one point I had my knight wanting to tie me up and spank me, My Dark Master also wanted this but he wanted more. He wanted more of a 24/7 Dom/sub situation in which he would give me instructions to follow. He bought me a collar and lead that I was to wear at all times when we were alone together. there was also JJ who switches between Dom and Sub. he was quite happy to tie me up and spank me. we spoke about this again only this week when he descibed everything he would like to do with me. I also have another friend who I have discussed spanking with. In this case it is not as part of a sexual experienc but as Dom/sub ritual experience with implements. I trust him implicitly. He has made a very exciting discovery today which got me feeling very excited myself.

I am trully looking forward to our experiment but at the same time as being excited by the prospect especially as it draws nearer. I am absolutely terrified. But my terror seems to make me want to do this even more. Maybe it is the thought of over coming my fear of pain. we have discussed many times my wish to do this and he knows that for me it is something I need to do. But I have not revealed to him how scared I am of this. Why is it that the more I think about it the more scared I feel which makes me more determined that I want this. we have discussed implements, venues, positions. we have shared other people's experiences. there is no way that I want to back out of this. I know that if I do not do this with him I shall find someone else to share this experience with. I know that this man knows what he is doing and I trust him to take care of me. He will give me the experience I crave without putting me in danger. I only hope he gets enjoyment from this experience.