sex for sex sake

He is sexy and sweet both at the same time
he calls himself my reserve fuck buddy
for over week he has been suggesting
that I go over to his place and suck his cock
we chat on msn in the morning
he suggests I go suck his cock before I go shopping
put a smile on my face while I select my groceries
I text him I wont be there
half my tooth has come away could be dangerous for him
he replies come anyway let me play with your pussy
I tell him maybe later
but later I am back home from shopping
I am tired and want to sleep
but more than sleep I want to be in the arms
not of him but of the one
the one my heart desires
the one who I am pretending to both
myself and him doesnt mean so much to me
I have promised myself I will play it cool
I wont be first to make contact
I need him to miss me
I need him to know that he wants me
I promise myself I wont make a fool of myself
its up to him now to show he cares
why should it always be me
he encourages me to see others
it would be no big deal to him
if I go to suck this cock
and have my pussy stimulated to arousal
but I know I wont go
it isnt because I dont like him
I do enjoy his sexy body
and his fun sense of humour
but if I go it will be
sex for the sake of sex
not sex because its what I want