We sit at that table in the growing darkness chatting as we look out at the view over the city, memories come flooding back. I have been back to this pub many times since but never sat here again since that night a year ago next week. We chat, we smile we have our one drink before climbing back into my car. I try to remember the way to that other place we used to go. As I drive he has his mouth on my naked shoulder and his hand inside my skirt. I have fired off no text to him telling him I have no underwear on as I did to you that first night. As we travel each with our own thoughts not many words are exchanged other than for him to say it’s a long way. My reply that it’s only that the country lanes are twisty and slower to travel than the motorway we could see a few minutes before. Finally we reach our destination, rabbits scatter in the beam of light as the headlights sweep across the deserted car park. It is an earlier hour than when we used this car park before. We climb into the back of my small silver car.
I am on my knees on the back seat as I bend over him to take his hard cock into my mouth, like you he goes commando. Funny of the men I have met since you left I can think of none who go commando. He is enjoying my attentions then motions for me to move so that he can slide his head and shoulders along the seat. He positions himself so that his face is under my wet cunt which he has been working with his fingers. He licks and sucks as I return my attention to his cock. He shoots his load much sooner than I had expected, I swallow every drop. We both readjust our clothing as he steps outside for a cigarette, just as you always did. He gets a message from his friend wondering why he isn’t at the pub yet. As I drive he says he had not expected that, it seems that although I had told him earlier, before we met that I do squirt, he hadn’t expected it to be so. I text my friend to tell him, that I am with my Dark Master. After all these months I never expected that I would eventually meet him. Oh I nearly forgot to say that while I was giving him head he was spanking my ass, but to me his spanking seemed to be very light and hardly worth doing, I did consider asking him to slap me harder, but decided to leave that for now. He has plans for me. He has his sex slave coming over from Canada next month. Between them they intend to make my fantasy ‘Her surprise’ come true.
I have been thinking about you a lot recently, possibly because it is a year now since we first exchanged messages on the night I returned from my holiday. I miss our crazy chats, I miss deciding to meet in an hour at our favourite burger bar for a cuppa and chat interspersed with snogging as we look out at the view before heading off to indulge in hectic sex. I miss your text as I go about my day, as you tell me such mundane things as how long you had to wait for new tyres to be fitted to your car. I miss the text we exchanged when you were staying with your mum when she took ill, or when you were away on business with no women to entertain you. I miss the sight of your naked form as you gaze out the hotel window to watch a deer trot through the car park while you have a smoke in the early hours. I miss the taste of your kisses, a mixture of coffee and tobacco. Funny, how I liked that taste on your lips even though I don’t smoke or drink coffee.
There are other men in my life now, I have done many things since last we spoke, I am sure you would approve. You did tell me that you were sure I would enjoy having two men giving me attention. I sometimes wonder where you are, if you are safe. If, anything happened to you I would never know, that thought saddens me. I wonder about when you return if you will contact me then or am I in the past for you now. Just a memory, nothing more. We may not have had long before your sudden departure back to the country that was home to you for so many years. But those five weeks were heavenly.
Showing posts with label Dark Master. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dark Master. Show all posts
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Her suprise part two
............another crack and her whole body jolts with the force. Her hands automatically reach round to protect her smarting cheeks. smack!! her head whips round with the force of his smack. she will be given one further chance to keep still while Mistress delivers her punishment. If she cannot keep her hands down her wrists will be bound together. she swallows a sob as she tries to keep still. Dark Master resumes rubbing his cock on her face as she waits for the next crack as it hits her flesh but there is nothing. Hey now what is going on, there are fingers caressing her breasts as they hang beside Mistress's lap, it can't be Master as his hands are busy with holding her face against his cock. the realisation sinks in that it is this woman who is fondling her again. she feels the excitement begin to build inside her again as she realises that she has not two but four hands and two mouths wanting to use her body as their plaything. she is feeling the warmth of this thought course through her when it happens again, again she has been taken by suprise. A yelp tries to force its way past her lips but the tape forces her silence.
when she had agreed to become Dark Master's slave she had agreed to take any punishment he felt was fit but she had not expected the force with which it would be delivered, nor that it would be anyone other than the master himself who would deliver these whacks across her arse. She wanted to cry it hurt so much but to cry would be a sign of weakness. she must be strong and not show how much it hurt. how many strokes has she received she must count she must concentrate. she knew from their conversations that she would have to count she must know how many strikes she has received. it is three no its four so far, this hurts so much how can she take much more. five there was another one must concentrate but omg this cock in her face is so inviting. how can she concentrate with this in her face. she reaches up to hold the cock in her hand. Mistress hisses in her ear.....thats a good girl wank your master, bring him to a head so he can show you his pleasure by covering your face with his own special cream. crack thats six.
so many sensations its hard to concentrate. her ass is on fire as the welts begin to show up red, her nipples tingle with the attention they are receiving and then there is still this cock in her face that she cant taste because of the tape which makes it hard to breathe even, then there is the pain in her head as her hair is pulled keeping her head up. again thats six isn't it, no already had six it must be seven, please let this end soon. as though her prayers have been answered the lead is yanked and the hands on her breasts are pushing her upwards. The girl finds herself standing again, she feels so much relief that the strikes have ceased tears well up in the corners of her eyes.
she is led around to the side of the bed and pushed face down onto the bed. two pairs of hands take her by the arms pulling her towards the head of the bed. simultaneously her wrists are shackled to the bed. pillows are piled in the middle of the bed and the girl is manouvered so that she is laying across the pillows with her ass poining into the air. Dark Master kneels infront of her face rips the tape from her mouth. he tells the girl she has taken her punishment well and is to be rewarded. he shoves his cock into her mouth pulling the panties out at the same time.
there is movement behind her the bed creaks a little as Mistress climbs up behind her. the girl feels hands on her burning cheeks, something cold is being soothed onto the welts, it stings like mad but is curiously comforting too. mmmm a nice soothing massage on her damaged flesh and a hard cock to suck. but what now her cheeks are being held open something hot and soft is flicking around her ass hole, is that wet? omg its her tongue the girl is being licked by the woman. long slow licks from ass to cunt and back again.
no sooner has she taken in what is happening when the woman climbs off the bed. the girl can hear movements but she concentrates on the cock in her mouth pumping, fucking her mouth like she has never done before. woowwwwouchhhhhhhhh she feels a new stinging sensation as something hits her ass cheeks. she hears a swish just before the next sting. Master tells her not to worry this is just a soft leather flogger the paddle will be next. another swish another sting she wants to grit her teeth but can't as her mouth is being fucked. she chokes back her tears,it stings so much but she can't scream. She is very vulnerable with her wrists shackled and her mouth full of cock while her naked ass is pointing up towards this thrashing. she nearly bites her Master's penis as the 6th and hardest swish stings her left buttock. Master withdraws from her and unfastens her wrists. He commands her to go over to the corner opposite the door and stand with her nose to the wall hands on her head and feet as wide apart as her shoulders.
to be continued..........
when she had agreed to become Dark Master's slave she had agreed to take any punishment he felt was fit but she had not expected the force with which it would be delivered, nor that it would be anyone other than the master himself who would deliver these whacks across her arse. She wanted to cry it hurt so much but to cry would be a sign of weakness. she must be strong and not show how much it hurt. how many strokes has she received she must count she must concentrate. she knew from their conversations that she would have to count she must know how many strikes she has received. it is three no its four so far, this hurts so much how can she take much more. five there was another one must concentrate but omg this cock in her face is so inviting. how can she concentrate with this in her face. she reaches up to hold the cock in her hand. Mistress hisses in her ear.....thats a good girl wank your master, bring him to a head so he can show you his pleasure by covering your face with his own special cream. crack thats six.
so many sensations its hard to concentrate. her ass is on fire as the welts begin to show up red, her nipples tingle with the attention they are receiving and then there is still this cock in her face that she cant taste because of the tape which makes it hard to breathe even, then there is the pain in her head as her hair is pulled keeping her head up. again thats six isn't it, no already had six it must be seven, please let this end soon. as though her prayers have been answered the lead is yanked and the hands on her breasts are pushing her upwards. The girl finds herself standing again, she feels so much relief that the strikes have ceased tears well up in the corners of her eyes.
she is led around to the side of the bed and pushed face down onto the bed. two pairs of hands take her by the arms pulling her towards the head of the bed. simultaneously her wrists are shackled to the bed. pillows are piled in the middle of the bed and the girl is manouvered so that she is laying across the pillows with her ass poining into the air. Dark Master kneels infront of her face rips the tape from her mouth. he tells the girl she has taken her punishment well and is to be rewarded. he shoves his cock into her mouth pulling the panties out at the same time.
there is movement behind her the bed creaks a little as Mistress climbs up behind her. the girl feels hands on her burning cheeks, something cold is being soothed onto the welts, it stings like mad but is curiously comforting too. mmmm a nice soothing massage on her damaged flesh and a hard cock to suck. but what now her cheeks are being held open something hot and soft is flicking around her ass hole, is that wet? omg its her tongue the girl is being licked by the woman. long slow licks from ass to cunt and back again.
no sooner has she taken in what is happening when the woman climbs off the bed. the girl can hear movements but she concentrates on the cock in her mouth pumping, fucking her mouth like she has never done before. woowwwwouchhhhhhhhh she feels a new stinging sensation as something hits her ass cheeks. she hears a swish just before the next sting. Master tells her not to worry this is just a soft leather flogger the paddle will be next. another swish another sting she wants to grit her teeth but can't as her mouth is being fucked. she chokes back her tears,it stings so much but she can't scream. She is very vulnerable with her wrists shackled and her mouth full of cock while her naked ass is pointing up towards this thrashing. she nearly bites her Master's penis as the 6th and hardest swish stings her left buttock. Master withdraws from her and unfastens her wrists. He commands her to go over to the corner opposite the door and stand with her nose to the wall hands on her head and feet as wide apart as her shoulders.
to be continued..........
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Her suprise
She knocks and the door opens, she sees him standing there as she had expected in his leather trousers and waistcoat. he steps aside to allow her to pass. She can't help a little gasp as his parting words from last night come flooding back.
'I have a suprise for you tomorrow night one you won't be expecting but I hope it will please you.'
It's a suprise alright, as she passes him she comes face to face with a woman also dressed in leather trousers, leather waistcoat with ample breasts spilling over the top, thigh high leather boots with what must be 4" heels, she is very tall towering above him in her boots.She sees that the woman has something leather hanging from her right hand, what ever it is there is metal too as the light glints off it. the girl looks nervously at her Dark Master he nods and tells her
'this is your Mistress for the night, please stand still while she fastens your collar around your neck, I am pleased to see that you have followed orders and worn your black mini skirt and leather boots, but that top is wrong it doesn't show enough of your boobs, please remove it and place it on the table in the corner.'
Mistress moves close to the girl while she quickly slides her low cut vest top over her head and places it on the table. once this is done she feels a hand on her shoulder as Mistress places the studded collar around her neck handing the lead to Dark Master. The girl tries to look around the room but her lead is jerked pulling her towards Dark Master. Upto this point the girl has not said a word neither has her Mistress who now tells her that she must greet her Master in a fit and proper way. the girl shyly begins to say hello but the lead is jerked and Mistress tells her this is no way to greet him. where are her manners Dark Master has been patient waiting all these weeks and months to taste her mouth....she must kiss him. The girl nods and steps towards her master knowing she has not had a good start to this evening. she reaches up to her master to kiss his lips. Before she can take a breathe his hand grabs a handful of her hair holding her in place as he rams his tongue down her throat, searching and sliding around every crevice of her mouth. She struggles to breathe then relaxes into his kiss which becomes slightly softer allowing her to breathe more easily. Just as suddenly as the kiss began it ends.
Dark Master says its time to end the niceties of introduction, now we will get down to business. Please state in a clear voice why you think you are here.
I am here because my Master wishes to teach me how to behave and if I am a good girl he will fuck me, making me his to do with as he pleases.
very good now tell us why you are to become mine.
I am to become slave to my Dark master because I have done wrong and my Dark Master has kindly agreed to save me from my sins.
the girl manages to glance around the room, she sees a stark metal bedstead with manacles attached, crisp white sheets and pillows very basic comforts. on either side of the bed are dimly lit lamps but at the foot of the bed there is a straight backed chair close to which is the low table where she had placed her top, beside this there is an array of paddles, riding crops, whips, canes and other things the girl cannot easily identify. the full implications of this evening are suddenly starting to hit home. She stifles a sob as she realises this is not a game these two people mean business. As she strains to look further into the room she sees a spot light trained on the chair and in the far corner there is a video camera set up on a tripod also trained on the chair.
Dark Master indicates the chair with a nod of his head and Mistress sits herself upon this. both Mistress and master are now looking purposefully at the girl she feels a quiver run through her body, she wants to pee from nerves but stops herself. those pelvic floor excercises have come in useful. Master shoves the girl in the direction of the chair and instructs her to stand perfectly still in front of Mistress. she is not to move a muscle no matter what unless she is told to. any deviation will lead to greater punishment. Mistress takes hold of the hem of her skirt lifting this until she is peering between the girls shaking thighs. Mistress re-emerges from under the skirt, shakes her head and tells Master that the girl has not been good there is a definite dampness. Master wishes to see what the girl has seen fit to adorn her sinful pussy with. Mistress pulls the skirt down letting it drop to the floor she nudges the girls legs indicating that she must step out of the crumpled heap on the floor. the girl is left standing in her black leather ankle boots,matching black lace bra and panties and of course this collar which holds her head up it is so wide. dark Master passes the lead to Mistress as he moves over to the video camera there is a click and a whir as the camera kicks into action.
The girl tries to stop herself trembling as her Dark master stands behind her with his hands clasped over her breasts, his fingers rolling her nipples. with one hand he unfastens the clasp of her bra, Mistress leans into the girl and with her teeth tugs on the fragile lace pulling it away from the girls amazing orbs. she tugs again at the bra as it slides down the girls arms to fall at her feet. Mistress looks lavisciously up at dark Master who feeds the girl's right nipple into Mistress's mouth. the girl feels a jolt through her body as Mistress flicks her nipple with a very practiced tongue. The girl had not expected this, she thought the Mistress was here merely to help with her punishment. Master reaches round the girl to caress Mistress's hand he tells her to find out if the girl has become aroused. Mistress does not need telling twice, her hand moves to the fabric that covers the girl's mons. Yes this has become wet now.
No No the girl silently shouts within her head I am not i will not allow myself to be aroused by this woman's touch. But she knows it is too late, her arousal has already begun. Dark Master instructs the girl to remove her panties and hold then in a ball upto her nose, she is to smell her own arousal. She feels Dark master move away slightly and then a strange ripping sound. his hand comes upto her mouth pushing the panties through her open lips a strip of wide tape is placed across her mouth holding the panties there. she struggles to breathe through her nose. she catches a glimpse of her body naked now apart from her boots and collar with a slash of black tape across her face. Mistress moves back now releasing her nipple which throbs from being squeezed by that woman's teeth. Mistress turns the girl around to face sideways on as Master comes to stand in front of the girl she is forced down onto her knees. She must unfasten Dark Master's trousers and release his manhood which immediately springs free and stands proud. A yank on the lead brings the girl back to her feet. Mistress pulls her back so that she is stood next to mistress's lap now. four hands push at the girl until she is bent double and forced across Mistress's lap facing Dark Master who stands so close to her face he whacks her on each cheek with his hard cock. he rubs her face with his cock smearing pre-cum across her cheek. He is teasing her with his cock demanding that she admits she wants this hard member in her mouth, she nods he asks her again if she wants to taste his cock the girl nods vigorously but is brought up suddenly in shock as she feels a shot of fire across her ass. what was that? then again another crack across her exposed cheek. she tries to twist her neck to see what it was but master pulls on the lead bringing her head back to his cock.
to be continued...........
'I have a suprise for you tomorrow night one you won't be expecting but I hope it will please you.'
It's a suprise alright, as she passes him she comes face to face with a woman also dressed in leather trousers, leather waistcoat with ample breasts spilling over the top, thigh high leather boots with what must be 4" heels, she is very tall towering above him in her boots.She sees that the woman has something leather hanging from her right hand, what ever it is there is metal too as the light glints off it. the girl looks nervously at her Dark Master he nods and tells her
'this is your Mistress for the night, please stand still while she fastens your collar around your neck, I am pleased to see that you have followed orders and worn your black mini skirt and leather boots, but that top is wrong it doesn't show enough of your boobs, please remove it and place it on the table in the corner.'
Mistress moves close to the girl while she quickly slides her low cut vest top over her head and places it on the table. once this is done she feels a hand on her shoulder as Mistress places the studded collar around her neck handing the lead to Dark Master. The girl tries to look around the room but her lead is jerked pulling her towards Dark Master. Upto this point the girl has not said a word neither has her Mistress who now tells her that she must greet her Master in a fit and proper way. the girl shyly begins to say hello but the lead is jerked and Mistress tells her this is no way to greet him. where are her manners Dark Master has been patient waiting all these weeks and months to taste her mouth....she must kiss him. The girl nods and steps towards her master knowing she has not had a good start to this evening. she reaches up to her master to kiss his lips. Before she can take a breathe his hand grabs a handful of her hair holding her in place as he rams his tongue down her throat, searching and sliding around every crevice of her mouth. She struggles to breathe then relaxes into his kiss which becomes slightly softer allowing her to breathe more easily. Just as suddenly as the kiss began it ends.
Dark Master says its time to end the niceties of introduction, now we will get down to business. Please state in a clear voice why you think you are here.
I am here because my Master wishes to teach me how to behave and if I am a good girl he will fuck me, making me his to do with as he pleases.
very good now tell us why you are to become mine.
I am to become slave to my Dark master because I have done wrong and my Dark Master has kindly agreed to save me from my sins.
the girl manages to glance around the room, she sees a stark metal bedstead with manacles attached, crisp white sheets and pillows very basic comforts. on either side of the bed are dimly lit lamps but at the foot of the bed there is a straight backed chair close to which is the low table where she had placed her top, beside this there is an array of paddles, riding crops, whips, canes and other things the girl cannot easily identify. the full implications of this evening are suddenly starting to hit home. She stifles a sob as she realises this is not a game these two people mean business. As she strains to look further into the room she sees a spot light trained on the chair and in the far corner there is a video camera set up on a tripod also trained on the chair.
Dark Master indicates the chair with a nod of his head and Mistress sits herself upon this. both Mistress and master are now looking purposefully at the girl she feels a quiver run through her body, she wants to pee from nerves but stops herself. those pelvic floor excercises have come in useful. Master shoves the girl in the direction of the chair and instructs her to stand perfectly still in front of Mistress. she is not to move a muscle no matter what unless she is told to. any deviation will lead to greater punishment. Mistress takes hold of the hem of her skirt lifting this until she is peering between the girls shaking thighs. Mistress re-emerges from under the skirt, shakes her head and tells Master that the girl has not been good there is a definite dampness. Master wishes to see what the girl has seen fit to adorn her sinful pussy with. Mistress pulls the skirt down letting it drop to the floor she nudges the girls legs indicating that she must step out of the crumpled heap on the floor. the girl is left standing in her black leather ankle boots,matching black lace bra and panties and of course this collar which holds her head up it is so wide. dark Master passes the lead to Mistress as he moves over to the video camera there is a click and a whir as the camera kicks into action.
The girl tries to stop herself trembling as her Dark master stands behind her with his hands clasped over her breasts, his fingers rolling her nipples. with one hand he unfastens the clasp of her bra, Mistress leans into the girl and with her teeth tugs on the fragile lace pulling it away from the girls amazing orbs. she tugs again at the bra as it slides down the girls arms to fall at her feet. Mistress looks lavisciously up at dark Master who feeds the girl's right nipple into Mistress's mouth. the girl feels a jolt through her body as Mistress flicks her nipple with a very practiced tongue. The girl had not expected this, she thought the Mistress was here merely to help with her punishment. Master reaches round the girl to caress Mistress's hand he tells her to find out if the girl has become aroused. Mistress does not need telling twice, her hand moves to the fabric that covers the girl's mons. Yes this has become wet now.
No No the girl silently shouts within her head I am not i will not allow myself to be aroused by this woman's touch. But she knows it is too late, her arousal has already begun. Dark Master instructs the girl to remove her panties and hold then in a ball upto her nose, she is to smell her own arousal. She feels Dark master move away slightly and then a strange ripping sound. his hand comes upto her mouth pushing the panties through her open lips a strip of wide tape is placed across her mouth holding the panties there. she struggles to breathe through her nose. she catches a glimpse of her body naked now apart from her boots and collar with a slash of black tape across her face. Mistress moves back now releasing her nipple which throbs from being squeezed by that woman's teeth. Mistress turns the girl around to face sideways on as Master comes to stand in front of the girl she is forced down onto her knees. She must unfasten Dark Master's trousers and release his manhood which immediately springs free and stands proud. A yank on the lead brings the girl back to her feet. Mistress pulls her back so that she is stood next to mistress's lap now. four hands push at the girl until she is bent double and forced across Mistress's lap facing Dark Master who stands so close to her face he whacks her on each cheek with his hard cock. he rubs her face with his cock smearing pre-cum across her cheek. He is teasing her with his cock demanding that she admits she wants this hard member in her mouth, she nods he asks her again if she wants to taste his cock the girl nods vigorously but is brought up suddenly in shock as she feels a shot of fire across her ass. what was that? then again another crack across her exposed cheek. she tries to twist her neck to see what it was but master pulls on the lead bringing her head back to his cock.
to be continued...........
BRNG IT ON!!!
Ok so there have been a few, no! several posts of late about the subject of spanking. I fear I am becoming obsessed with the idea. As I said in the last post I am scared. I have never liked pain, I am a real baby when it comes to pain. So why am I inviting men to deliver pain to my ass. Why do I court punishment? Yesterday I sent a joke to several men, the reply from JJ was.
Not very funny! Anyone who sends jokes like that deserves to be spanked.
So what do I go and do? I send another joke!
While I was out last night (bored out of my skin) I began chatting by text with my Dark Master. He says that he had accepted my decision not to meet but he is happy to still chat. Then he tells me that he has a week off work so we can party. Although I had made the decision not to see him the idea of having some fun with him is a little thrilling but regretfully I tell him that I shall be working. He didn’t know that I am working again at the moment.
I have made up my mind that I will have my planned spanking with my friend. We are both up for this and he has begun making preparations. I have more or less accepted that I won’t be meeting JJ for a spanking although we often discuss what will happen when we do. I know we both want it. But there are two things which prevent this from becoming reality. Firstly as much as he wants this and he dreams of what he wants to do to me, he does have a girlfriend and his conscience gets in the way. The second is that he openly admitted to me when we met a couple of months ago that he is not good at making the first move. He needs to be pushed into action, but once pushed there is no stopping him. I do enjoy our chats about the possibilities open to us, whilst knowing that it won’t happen.
But if he ever does get the courage to make it happen it will be a bonus. He is quite local to me so we can decide at the last minute to do this. I could be at his place in 10 minutes. I get very aroused when chatting to him knowing how easy it would be to make this fantasy become reality; I also enjoy the sexual connotations that come with this fantasy of his. He has made it abundantly clear that through out my punishment he would be digitally checking for moisture that would give away my sin. For it would be a punishable sin for me to be aroused whilst being punished. I know that I would indeed be dripping as just the very thought has me wriggling in my seat wanting to bring this about. I want to be disciplined; I want to be found dripping with arousal so that I may experience yet more punishment of a varied and increasing severity.
Anyway, the more I think about what I am going to experience with my friend, (I really should give him a name to make this easier. Maybe Damien as he will have a devil of a job absolving me of my sins.) The more scared I get. The more scared I am the more I feel compelled to carry this through to its end. I have emailed another blogger for some advice, he has given me a website to look at. This I have done and have registered with a spanking site. I have read a few of the stories and later when I get some privacy I intend to spend some time looking at the picture gallery and videos as well as going into the chat rooms. I really am keen to find out from other people what they get out of spanking. I think from what I have read so far that the situation with me and Damien is unusual. Most spanking stories seem to be between people who are in a relationship or are using the spanking as part of a sexual act. Damien and I are friends and as I have said I trust him implicitly and shall accept his judgement as to which implements he will use on me and in which order. We have met so there will be no suprises there, we are both fond of each other so I know I don’t need to worry that he will go over the top. I know he will keep my best interests in mind. Now we have the intention, he has the implements all we need are a time and more especially a venue. If it were at all possible I would say lets do this now tonight but without a venue and forward planning (families) we have to wait. I have said that I will have the time to carry out our plans once the school term has finished and I don’t have to rush home from work. I can just head off to wherever and spend as much time as I need to, so that’s another 2 weeks away ;-( .
But that gives me another two weeks or more to read and see so much more, in my mental preparations. I think it amuses Damien when I talk as though I intend to enjoy this. He is very serious about it and tells me that it isn’t for my enjoyment. I know he is quite correct and how could I find enjoyment in pain which I would under normal circumstances do my level best to avoid. Pain and the Lady do not readily mix so why oh why am I so adamant that I desire this pain, I crave the humiliation that will go hand in hand with my pain. Perhaps this is my subconscious way of dealing with my sluttish behaviour of the last year. My atonement for what I feel to be the behaviour of one who does not merit the position I hold in this life, my battle to reconcile the slut in me with the good middle class mother I strive to be.
What ever the reason I crave this pain and humiliation………….
BRING IT ON!!!!
Not very funny! Anyone who sends jokes like that deserves to be spanked.
So what do I go and do? I send another joke!
While I was out last night (bored out of my skin) I began chatting by text with my Dark Master. He says that he had accepted my decision not to meet but he is happy to still chat. Then he tells me that he has a week off work so we can party. Although I had made the decision not to see him the idea of having some fun with him is a little thrilling but regretfully I tell him that I shall be working. He didn’t know that I am working again at the moment.
I have made up my mind that I will have my planned spanking with my friend. We are both up for this and he has begun making preparations. I have more or less accepted that I won’t be meeting JJ for a spanking although we often discuss what will happen when we do. I know we both want it. But there are two things which prevent this from becoming reality. Firstly as much as he wants this and he dreams of what he wants to do to me, he does have a girlfriend and his conscience gets in the way. The second is that he openly admitted to me when we met a couple of months ago that he is not good at making the first move. He needs to be pushed into action, but once pushed there is no stopping him. I do enjoy our chats about the possibilities open to us, whilst knowing that it won’t happen.
But if he ever does get the courage to make it happen it will be a bonus. He is quite local to me so we can decide at the last minute to do this. I could be at his place in 10 minutes. I get very aroused when chatting to him knowing how easy it would be to make this fantasy become reality; I also enjoy the sexual connotations that come with this fantasy of his. He has made it abundantly clear that through out my punishment he would be digitally checking for moisture that would give away my sin. For it would be a punishable sin for me to be aroused whilst being punished. I know that I would indeed be dripping as just the very thought has me wriggling in my seat wanting to bring this about. I want to be disciplined; I want to be found dripping with arousal so that I may experience yet more punishment of a varied and increasing severity.
Anyway, the more I think about what I am going to experience with my friend, (I really should give him a name to make this easier. Maybe Damien as he will have a devil of a job absolving me of my sins.) The more scared I get. The more scared I am the more I feel compelled to carry this through to its end. I have emailed another blogger for some advice, he has given me a website to look at. This I have done and have registered with a spanking site. I have read a few of the stories and later when I get some privacy I intend to spend some time looking at the picture gallery and videos as well as going into the chat rooms. I really am keen to find out from other people what they get out of spanking. I think from what I have read so far that the situation with me and Damien is unusual. Most spanking stories seem to be between people who are in a relationship or are using the spanking as part of a sexual act. Damien and I are friends and as I have said I trust him implicitly and shall accept his judgement as to which implements he will use on me and in which order. We have met so there will be no suprises there, we are both fond of each other so I know I don’t need to worry that he will go over the top. I know he will keep my best interests in mind. Now we have the intention, he has the implements all we need are a time and more especially a venue. If it were at all possible I would say lets do this now tonight but without a venue and forward planning (families) we have to wait. I have said that I will have the time to carry out our plans once the school term has finished and I don’t have to rush home from work. I can just head off to wherever and spend as much time as I need to, so that’s another 2 weeks away ;-( .
But that gives me another two weeks or more to read and see so much more, in my mental preparations. I think it amuses Damien when I talk as though I intend to enjoy this. He is very serious about it and tells me that it isn’t for my enjoyment. I know he is quite correct and how could I find enjoyment in pain which I would under normal circumstances do my level best to avoid. Pain and the Lady do not readily mix so why oh why am I so adamant that I desire this pain, I crave the humiliation that will go hand in hand with my pain. Perhaps this is my subconscious way of dealing with my sluttish behaviour of the last year. My atonement for what I feel to be the behaviour of one who does not merit the position I hold in this life, my battle to reconcile the slut in me with the good middle class mother I strive to be.
What ever the reason I crave this pain and humiliation………….
BRING IT ON!!!!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Spanking
I have been talking to some men about spanking for some while now I have become interested in spanking and other punishment used in a Dom/sub environment.
I did dally with the idea of becoming a sub to one of the men I was in contact with (my Dark Master) he even sent me a picture of my own collar and lead which I was to wear each time we were alone together. He would give me instructions to follow. But I decided that the 24/7 life that he seemed to favour even though we had not yet met was a little more than I wanted. I'm not into the slave master lifestyle.
I want to experience being submissive and receiving punishment for my misdeeds more as a part of a sexual experience now and again not to be the whole. ie I want it to be one of the sweets in the bag not the bag containing the sweets.
I have also chatted on and off to JJ for months. He is a man who enjoys being submissive but equally happy to be either Dom or neither. He has stated many times that he would be happy to tie me up and spank my ass. But each time we get anywhere near doing anything about it he cancels. I have now told him that if he is sure that he wants to spank me. (he is emphatic that he does). Then he must decide on a place and a time, inform me then STICK TO IT!!
As the months went past I also had a joint fantasy about it with my Knight of Tarnished Armour. we did attempt to carry out a spanking but location for our chosen al fresco event was not found although we spent time driving through many narrow muddy lanes. (not for the last time either).
then there is another. we have discussed the subject on and off for months. He has done this before and has done research into the subject. He has books which he has offered to lend me during the time I was thinking of being my Dark Master's slave. He also has a store of implements which could be used. this other is not a lover of mine. We have discussed the possibilities of him being my initiator.
I did dally with the idea of becoming a sub to one of the men I was in contact with (my Dark Master) he even sent me a picture of my own collar and lead which I was to wear each time we were alone together. He would give me instructions to follow. But I decided that the 24/7 life that he seemed to favour even though we had not yet met was a little more than I wanted. I'm not into the slave master lifestyle.
I want to experience being submissive and receiving punishment for my misdeeds more as a part of a sexual experience now and again not to be the whole. ie I want it to be one of the sweets in the bag not the bag containing the sweets.
I have also chatted on and off to JJ for months. He is a man who enjoys being submissive but equally happy to be either Dom or neither. He has stated many times that he would be happy to tie me up and spank my ass. But each time we get anywhere near doing anything about it he cancels. I have now told him that if he is sure that he wants to spank me. (he is emphatic that he does). Then he must decide on a place and a time, inform me then STICK TO IT!!
As the months went past I also had a joint fantasy about it with my Knight of Tarnished Armour. we did attempt to carry out a spanking but location for our chosen al fresco event was not found although we spent time driving through many narrow muddy lanes. (not for the last time either).
then there is another. we have discussed the subject on and off for months. He has done this before and has done research into the subject. He has books which he has offered to lend me during the time I was thinking of being my Dark Master's slave. He also has a store of implements which could be used. this other is not a lover of mine. We have discussed the possibilities of him being my initiator.
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